We need to have an Itty-Bitty Titty Committee mtg somewhere in the range of 5 minutes to ASAP.
dude. I'm so drunk.
pete, this is bryce's mom
I can't wait to have my cock in your ass
pete, this is still bryce's mom
Why does it say "go to Planned Parenthood tomorrow" on my dry-erase board?
her teeth looked like a whores toenails, i was too horrified to
I wouldn't really call it 'getting lucky' considering I paid her to do it.
Travelers Top-Tip: Europeans do not appreciate being repeatedly referred to as "gypsy" regardless of how good your Borat impression is.
Ima go for a jog. and I'm going to jog until I throw up a lung. then I'll crawl home.
We're gonna have horrible, horrible babies.
You hid from a cop under some guy's canoe on his lawn.. It didnt work
Yea he called the cop officer fonzarelli and asked him if he was mad because happy days was off the air. Boom, beaten and arrested
I had a dream that my roommate walked in on me masturbating and I hissed "I'm not stopping this orgasm train for the likes of you" and just kept going
Dude of course I want to. Your penis is beautiful.
When are your genitals available?
If I'm gonna have a rotation of guys, I really should stop them leaving boob bruises...
We talked about breaking up, had sex, and in the middle of said sex, talked more about breaking up- best sad day ever
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