I just had one of those nervous system things in my thumb...I'm pretty sure I have cancer.
see you put your penis in her and it's like an ignition key to start the crazy
I was trying not to text you this weekend, so I deleted your number when I was sober. Then auto restore at midnight. It was like drunk magic
We really need to check into harvesting part of our liver now
My blowjobs put them in a state of relaxation similar to that of getting hit with a tranquilizer. The fear comes after the sex.
Nothing gets you judged faster than having cum in your hair at the gas station.
I don't miss having sex with him. We had our finale fuck last week. He's all yours now.
im on the hungover til tuesday pabst blue ribbon diet
Woke up with champagne in my hair and honey mustard on my hands. Strangely, I'm okau with this
No, and she still hasn't answered me...I get a whole series of text messages about Guatemalan anal bleaching but no fucking answer to my question.
This is why people in Buffalo die of heart attacks. This and wings
He asked if I could not say his name during sex cause he liked the girl in the apartment above me.
I wish I had a tail.
Why?
...why not?
Tomorrow's lesson plan is going to be on hangovers and why drinking during the week is never a good idea. I hope my boss approves.
She then told me, and I quote "I want to send you nudes just to see how you'd react."
Randomize