woke up this morning wit a massive hangover. walked to my truck and found at least 35 for sale signs, a stop sign, and a julie kim sign...need answers
yea, you decided to become a real estate agent last night on the way home from the party. You started bitchin about how Julie Kim was stealing all your buisness....
I'm sitting by the window waiting for the sun to go down so that I can start drinking.
It is 3am. I'm at a pizzeria with my 4 friends. The one to my right is throwing up on herself, the one to my left is crying hysterically by herself, the one in front of me is passed out on the table, and the other is trying to find a taxi and I'm pretty sure a guy is sticking his hand up her skirt. Tourists are taking pictures. Help me.
My professor just gave everyone in the class extra credit... except for the kid wearing the Cubs hat
They need a stunt cock, be about 20 more minutes.
...She then said get into the spirit and started making firecracker noises while having sex
I found out why we traded puke covered dresses in the bathroom.
She gave 2 thumbs up when Nirvana came on the radio while blowing me in the bathroom
I kinda wanna eat your hands right now.
Put down the everclear and go to bed.
I was just handed a bible on my walk of shame....are you there god? its tequila tuesday's hangover
I woke up to him yelling "WHO SLEEPS WITH A BEER IN THEIR HAND?!?" this of course, startled me awake and made me spill the aforementioned beer. So I guess the a answer is- not this girl, not anymore. Asshole
And that's the fourth pair of yoga pants with unwashable stains from you.
I'm just opting for alcohol abuse, ramen and cuddling with my dog for now.
The neighbor just yelled bring me back that big red alien penis.
The girl neighbor.
You screamed "i promise ill stop blowing your brother" in the middle of a packed restaurant at 1pm. We should maybe rethink our relationship.
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