I totally thought the tree was playing the guitar
and i looked up. we had an audience...
I am literally too baked to press the call button. How am I supposed to bone him?
She jerked me off while she drove us back from Denver going 70mph. It was both the scariest and most erotic moment of my life.
What a good family we'd make, him and I and our kids and his good dick.
you fell asleep spooning with his golden retriever. im not sure if thats more degrading for you or the dog
I won't apologize to a one balled man
So this is what you do on your hungover days off put your balls into an egg carton?
Reasons why I'm always right: I am older, I am wiser, I have a larger penis
Let's put a bunch of beers in a backpack and shotgun them in a Red Lobster bathroom
So I bought that bathing suit yesterday and got buyers remorse so I returned it today and then stole it. Win win.
STOP PUTTING BUTTER ON MY FUCKING CAT
Since when is my clitoris pierced?
would you eat cereal with weed in it
who is this???
My sister gave me satin sheets. We can fuck on satin sheets.
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