Having a random hookup so left but love u
We agreed on being friends w/ benefits. Lets see if that really happens.
Ok, so that was not supposed to go to u, my bad. I feel horrible.
protesters in toronto definately have the best pot
In the future let's not drunk dive in the fountain in front of the hotel bar.
I would feel bad sleeping with her unless all of her personalities were on board with it.
I let him fuck me in a batman costume. Don't talk to me about needing to read fifty shades gray.
I'll feed you vitamin c from my mouth this weekend. Like a baby bird.
Promise??
It takes a special kind of man to fart REALLY loudly right before entering a woman and still get some. This has been a state of bootytown address.
We were having a serious discussion about Blue's Clues and I just kept thinking, 'you've seen me naked'.
You're officially the most high maintenance man I've ever had inside me.
Ugh, once again I had to block the view of him peeing off the hotel bar balcony, I earned those free drinks!
I just threw up into a baby carriage. There was a baby in it.
I'll seduce him with my charm, after all, I am a graceful swan.
More like a demented cow.
I had a good weekend too...although I cried about the dog in a drunken stupor last night...not one of my finest moments, but it's all water under the bridge.
They call you PBJ boy because you were trying to seduce me with pieces of a peanut butter and jelly sandwich. Successfully might I add.
Randomize
