Last night he was fingering me with one hand to his ear, calling himself 'dj clittles'
Thats what happens when go home with guys that wear shutter shades to the bar..
lesson #67 learned in college: a three day old margarita, is still a margarita.
hey remember that time we got really drunk, you tried to find narnia in my refrigerator and passed out in the freezer drawer??
no.
no, i'm not a lesbian.. i just really want to fuck you while drinking, thats normal in a friendship.
It's Monday. What a great day to start the weekend on the week of st. Patricks day
It's like my butt was the only innocence I had left and now I don't even have that.
Watching him and my sister argue over a rum and coke about who's going to chop the coffee table in half with a hatchet...
my last clear memory of the night was being offered a shot but having so much alcohol in my hands that someone literally had to pour it in my mouth for me. after that it pretty much skips to waking up face down and shirtless on my floor.
I have walked into stripper central, but I'm on the street at 1:00 in the afternoon
She went outside in nothing but her panties and came back inside 15 minutes later wearing a different pair of panties.
FYI my mom is sending thanksgiving "samples" of her fancy pot stash for us this weekend. I bring the BEST family leftovers.
My ex's new girlfriends ex boyfriend is getting me my nipples pierced for Valentine's Day so who's the real winner here
Can we relax the "married man" rule just once?
Road head absolutely translates. That's the beauty of road head... It's so portable!
Dude I'm drinking alone and watching cartoons. How is it that someone as hot as me is doing this.
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