were you the shorter or taller girl out of you two
you made cement angels. it was a great sight.
They're all gay and their wifi network is named HOMOS. I want to live with these people.
It's like trying to pry an octopus off you. Except the octopus speaks English and can get drunk.
just tried googling 24 hr taco bell and when i typed "24 hour" it autocompleted with fitness. buzzzz killllll
I may have broken a few toes and my face hurts. I do know that I pissed the bed so at least I've got some closure there
I think I just asked the Greek gyro guy on a yoga date.
My public calorie counter app is pretty much just a cry for help.
I am currently watching him baptize himself in a baby pool with a handle of belvedere while wearing a coral dress.
I want to have sex with him.
Have you ever had to act sober and talk to an authority figure in a coconut bra? Because it is just as degrading as you would imagine.
I told her my hands felt like they touched the sun, never been that stoned before
I bought a machete, tennis balls, and matches. How is this NOT going to be a great night?
I'm so high I have morphed into the monopoly man. Or maybe the Pringles guy. I don't know but I have a mustach now
Dude, you screamed I AM THE WALRUS while giving a statue of Ronald McCdonald a lapdance. You were NOT sober.
She was blowing air into green onions and tying knots in them to make "balloons"
Randomize
