the next time i see a chick with leggings under her jean skirt...i'm gona beat her ass with a fashion magazine...
It was the gentlest way I could hit on a girl who just got hit by a car
her and i fucked to a michael jackson song and she had it memorized so she squealed every time he did
Just ran interference for her again. Sometimes i wonder how many times in my life i'll have to be a cock block at the clinic
I think I suffocated him while I was riding his face
well he is only 50 percent black.. but after last night i am 100 percent not going back
So getting drunk in honor of the bomb threat is legit right?
Bathtub guy came to. He helped me roll the fat chick away from the fridge. Shower and breakfast are on. You're plan failed!
Ive done some fucked up shit, but last night was the first I have Poured milk on anothers mans face in the shower.
I'll pretend I don't know she's blind, my morals claimed the back seat in this adventure.
I threw up in my room. And I cleaned it up with a spatula.
My one regret (beside the inevitable shit storm that followed) is that now I can't fuck his cute friend.
Are you ok?
They gave me a cat until I fall asleep. His name is fluffy because he's fluffy.
He's 30 years old and woke me up for a hand job. Last time I go home with someone I met through Tinder.
I'm to childless and to single to be asking myself why I'm so sticky
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