So we sucessfully lit our bathtub on fire. Thought you should know.
if my college career had corporate sponsors, they would be natty light and aim toothpaste.
Hey Operation Dumbo Drop... FYI, when you select your date this evening, our doorway is 3'x7'
My mom made me chili for when I get home from the bar. Those are the standards I expect you to live up to
Watching Blossom reruns on YouTube. Eating Pringles dipped in hot chocolate. Not taking this breakup well.
my vagina has been out of service for wayy too long... this semester needs to start like right now
I think their strategy was based on people bein at a beach, seein a rainbow, and havin an orgasm at the same time.
He said and I quote "Had to beat one off in the Burger King bathroom before I went over." Thats somebody that takes pride in his work.
You're worse than that girl who made out with her cousin at that party
That was you...
Dude. My knees have no hair on them and they're bruised. My thigh is killing me. I have about 1000 texts to about 5 exes which I horribly regret. I have pictures of my own penis on my phone. I can't find my iPad. And I have work in an hour.
must go to store soon wiping with panty liner ugh
How old am I that I had to sneak a boy out of my room this morning...
Just seriously saw this chick say, watch this motherfuckers then did a 42 sec keg stand.
You at least asked for her number right?
I think it may be easier if I stay drunk/high til the wedding. You game?
Im going for myspace 2006 goth bitch. Your worst nightmare
Randomize