Pretty sure I only gave out my other # though. You know, 777 777-7777
Hahaha. So was it a Freudian slip, or wishful thinking? ;)
Could be either seeing as you're in my phone as "3rd bar" and I couldn't pick you outta a line up.
So my grandma sent me a doily for my birthday - don't ask why, I don't know. Anyways I put my bong on it, I think it actually classed up the joint.
I'm gonna make this happen. You think it would be too forward to text him my room number with turn by turn directions straight to my crotch?
Despite fighting the urge to vomit throughout the whole thing, I think that interview went really well!
I wouldn't fuck her. Looks like her vagina smells like a seaside orgy.
Our idea of a "deep conversation" was successfully forming complete sentences.
I think for all the guys in my phone, I'm going to change their pictures to pics of their dicks. It's easier to identify them that way.
Just fucked in a kitchen. I never want my penis that close to knives, stoves, or blenders ever again.
This conversation has now reached a level of awkward that even a passerby streaking hobo couldn't break.
I fucked him twice and then he set me up with his teammate. This kid does wonders for me
I CAN SPEAK THE LANGUAGE OF THE ANIMES.
He was trying to break into my apartment to get the coke he left last night, didn't engage parking break, so the van started rolling. yup, it's broken.
I fuckin love you!
I would reciprocate the feeling if i knew who this was.
So some guy thought I took second place in a male stripper competition
I'm gonna ask his dad. Weed trumps broken heart any day.
Randomize
