Weird. Haha. I guess taking advice from batman is a good idea.
Superbowl and Mardi Gras a week apart. World's longest bender here I come.
I'm surprised you like me... I didn't think I was your type.
Blonde hair and big tits is every guys type.
I feel like we're taking advantage of the fact that our R.A has cerebal palsey.
he's measuring my pool to see how much jello powder he needs. He got paid today.
Update: I only have one shoe. The other one now belongs to the gods of jello-wrestling. May it rest in peace.
You grinded on me in Jimmy johns to a madonna song.
There is a pile of hair outside the apartment next door. At least now I know what all that shouting was about last night.
And by go well you mean everyone's hammered right?
Yupp. And someone's bleeding
Considering how much money I just spent on slutty lingerie, it is totally appropriate for me to be plucking my nipple hair right now. Right?
We're not on Beacon Street anymore so now your argument about not peeing on the sidewalk holds no water. Whereas my bladder has holded every water.
"Where are you? Where are my keys? What is this guys name again? Why am I wearing two pairs of your pants?"
I know I say this every year but 2015 will be the year I finally have sex with David's sister
These last few days with George, grandma, and now Carrie all dying have been pushing me further and further into rum's sweet embrace.
Spent like 2 minutes so far learning and 35 minutes in a group chat talking about big asses. Yet another Wed zoom meeting.
Randomize
