U of I kids don't fist pump to Sweet Caroline. Get me the fuck out of here.
i wish that every time i slipped on a sheet of ice i had the ability to recover with a michael jackson move
does drinking everclear count as brushing your teeth? because i think they are sterilized
Last night we hooked up in nothing but out UK shirts during half time. Never say I'm not a dedicated fan again.
Don't judge me. It was less weird than it sounds when we were in the moment and it was his birthday
there was 12 of us, girls included, shirtless and wielding swords as we bet on rock paper scissors in the middle of the bar. It was like Cinco de Mayo version of the Deer Hunter
I dont care what I am for halloween, as long as i'm not a father after
WHY DO YOU ALWAYS PUT THE PLUG IN THE SINK BEFORE YOU PUKE IN IT
Just found a pack of birth control on the corner of Oakland and Thomas, so if your desperate its up for grabs.
We are finally out of the honeymoon stage of the relationship because it turns out that you can't come back from peeing on me in your sleep.
I'm so busy i barely have time to have sex with myself. I have to talk myself into it like an old married couple.
I was out of breath when we were getting started and he offered me his inhaler so he's a keeper
He put your tit in his mouth. Professionalism is out the window after that.
okay valid
I could hear it slapping against his thighs under the robe!!!!!!!!! You are a lucky girl!
IT WAS A FUCKING ELEPHANT I SWESR!!!!!
Nathan, I haven't spoken to you in 12 years and it's 6am. Kindly fuck off.
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