Dude!! Mom just asked me why you have 'boobies' hahaha
I hate my life
I can't begin to describe what I look like walking through the grocery store with this outfit and chocolate syrup.
She just fell in the river. Meet us downstream with the bottle.
And the cockring thing wasn't sexual.
I thought he was having it in Athens. Alright. Have fun. Please save my dignity and refrain from talking about my boobs and sexual "abilities". If I have any. I just feel like they are going to ask. Repeat after me. And repeat it 5 more times. This is going to be the phrase you're going to rely on tonight: "I can neither deny or confirm such actions."
with great strapon comes great responsibility.
It also means I'm watching porn with mario earphones so i can hear. Possibly the best way to mastrabate EVER
If you end up wanting to sit on his face, just make a sound like a dying giraffe and I'll make myself scarce.
high moment I think I just reached personal nirvana
hitting rock bottom is getting taziki in your hair & simply putting it in a bun instead of actually dealing with it, just like your problems
Side note: I just realized that I can make my hand warmers double as a heated push up bra.
She told me I was absolutely not allowed to sleep with him even though she knows I'm a rule breaker who loves a good challenge.
I guess you know it was a good night when you find your ripped underwear in your pocket, and a nerf bullet falls out of your pant leg 😂😂
I'm unsure if I could pee myself at this point in my life
be the chaos you wish to see in the world...
i'm trying to figure out how to respond to that in text
Randomize
