i'm pretty confident that i watched a woman making love to a german shepherd.
The dutch village is so much worse hungover. Fuck them and their wooden shoes.
i was gonna tell him a really embarassing story about you, but then i remembered im in all of them
Some dude at the gas station right now is buying a 30 rack of beast and a can of cat food. Happy Thanksgiving.
I will now attempt to shave my public hair into a Christmas tree.
She just got out of the car and said "hold on purse.. It's going to be a bumpy ride"
It's official, no more fat chicks or even close to that, my balls are 2 dimentional
I can't even tell you how many rave sticks I tore apart with my teeth last night.
I was living a snoop dogg song I fucked her on the floor so I wouldn't mess up my bed
you'll probably come home to me baked as fuck and shirtless
You got this. You survived the RA last semester (granted you almost got arrested but still.)
He was pretty bad, I wanted pizza the whole time.
Wine is the only reason I'm making it in the real world
This band has the most fuckable violin player I have ever seen.
And for today's main disappontment. I thought I saw a midget with fireworks get on the buss, alas it's a child with cleaning supplies
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