Would it be quicker to bike the freeway home?
his status popped up and said 'probably going to jail.' it took everything i had not to press the like button
When I came home you were watching infomercials, eating croutons out of the box and salsa from a funnel. Well done.
This went bad. Everyone is crying, i dont know why and I am really uncomfortable.
I have fiberglass splinters all over my hands and woke up with a sign that says PUMPKINS in my room.
If your plan is to re-bang every girl you banged in high school - you're gonna need a spread sheet and clip board.
You told us that you don't have to wait in line at Taco Bell. Then, drove up to the window and grabbed someone else's food.
Turns out the owner of the bar that I fucked used to be on Boy Meets World, but now he's old and bald. So there's that..
Because the guy guy doing the drawing either wanted to bone, or wanted us to stop entering the contest. Either way, we got concert tickets so I'm cool with both scenarios.
NEW HOUSE RULE! If you make it in a chicks cleavage it's 3 cups and bra off.
BP at your house from now on.
Good. Sleepy. In the middle of a pregnancy scare. The usual.
Yeah I'm just gonna shower and drink a gallon of coffee and drunkenly write my research paper. It'll be fine
I offered the opportunity to grope my boobs for pints. Two girls took me up.
if i ever get to the point where i am moaning when i pee, please do the honorable thing and kill me.
Is a coke binge Whole30 approved?
Randomize
