12 pack with dinner. Living by yourself is awesome.
If it wasnt for my iphone and loopt, I would still be wandering the streets in a drunken stooper. Thanks Steve Jobs.
it turns out vodka filled condoms arent that funny
The size of her hoop earrings are directly related to how much of a slut she is.
just threw up nine times in the shower.. solid night last night.
I just criticized a porno's use of editing. Film school is ruining me.
I don't think I have ever puked up that much free breakfast in my life...thank god for Nickle Beers.
Yup, totally tried cooking bacon in the dryer last night.
Jen's arm is stuck between a wall and her bed. She's naked and needs someone to go help her.
Is 'too horny to study' a good enough medical excuse to not take a final?
She was into my hawaiian shirt and id never made out with a dinosaur... I feel like it worked out for everyone
You were making out with a freshman and said you wanted to back to his place. Then when you got to the door to leave you said "never mind." He sad it wasn't fair and you got all serious and told him "welcome to the real world kid."
I swear to the sweet baby jesus I didn't fill your freezer with salsa and my little pony toys, but I didn't stop them either.
Leaving Denver airport I just saw a group of young Republicans in matching green T-shirts that said "4/20 Baby!"
You go to class with the flu but don't go when it rains... Get your shit together
Randomize