It's all fun and games until the last slice of pizza gets bong water spilled on it.
if every girl in minneapolis isn't pregnant when i get back to the cities i will cry
she might purposely get aids just to give it to you. I think she might hate you that much.
She's grinding on a deaf black man and I'm the interpreter.
Who would have guessed that her hair would be so flammable
The cops said we could pay $250 or spend the night in jail and get 2 free meals. I might pee in mail-boxes more often
If you're not on crutches for breakfast, I'll feel like I've failed you.
Wait.....I ate a raw potato lastnight.
How do you delicately ask if your friend's dad was arrested for solicitation of prostitution?
I said "sucks to suck" to a cop last night. We've been snapchatting.
Are you 5:30 blackout again?
i feel like the girl with kaleidoscope eyes except the kaleidoscopes are sparkly butt plugs
Honestly his girlfriend says she hates me cause she thinks im trying to get him to cheat on her with me...she should hate me cause i already accomplished that.
Can I come over?
Sorry I gave up dick for lent. Hit me up on Good Friday tho
I just learned that I could drop out of school and spend the rest of my savings on a giraffe are you free this weekend
Randomize
