My wife says its no good to have oral sex during pregnancy. So i guess pregnancy is like regular life.
I think this dress is screaming I want a birthday 3some with two moderately attractive guys. I hope.
i was getting a blow-job tonight in the mens bathroom of a bar and the bouncer comes in and says "bro i don't mean to cock block but you cant do that here."
so, the parking garage attendent caught us humping in the car. long story short, we have free parking whenever we want! take that abstinence.
Its 4 am and he honestly tried throwing pizza at his ceiling for decorations
mom brought her knitting needles with her. its bad enough to be in the ER on new years, but to be with the knitting parent!?
I'll call it a relationship when I stop masturbating after he goes to sleep
the gays at disneyland are vicious
Hope you had your fill for the summer my friend, because all the cleavage has been put away for the winter. Fear not; it blooms again in May.
So much easier to puke and rally now that my gluten's under control
we are the apple cider girls!
Finding an empty bathroom to shit on campus is like the quest for the fucking Holy Grail. Except with more stench and humiliation.
Don't blame me. My vagina leads me astray.
Crowning achievement. I bought ranch dressing and emergency contraception.
Might be using my graduation money to pay for an abortion.
Are you okay? You're not sitting at home on facebook. I'm worried about you.
Randomize
