I'm thinking of having one or both of my boobs out. They're small but they're mighty.
Hungover. Be in at noonish. Turn my monitor on and put a hot cup of coffee on my desk so the boss thinks I'm in
Also, just grabbed a bunch of "tuxedo black" condoms. formal, anyone?
This is one of those situations that make me think to myself "what life decision did I make to get here"
i hope someone procrastinates by putting up the pics up...
sarah said she can't even post all of hers due to facebook indecency rules
Just got blown in a rental car. I need to get rear ended more often
If we ever start off with margaritas for breakfast and end up naked covered in olive oil...I could think of worse ways to spend a day.
This santa hat i wore to the bar, served it's dual purpose as a vomit bag.
I woke up this morning with a wristband and I thought I went to the hospital last night I actually went ice skating instead
Just woke up, shitty hungover, and realized that every article of clothing I slept in was backwards, bra included. Fuck you, gin. Fuck you.
She's got Mike in the bathroom. He's covered in meat.
Would it be creepy if I masturbated with my face in the pillow he slept on last night? Cuz I'm pretty sure that's about to happen
I wanted to say "you're a souless cunt" but in a nice way. So I added a smiley face.
Ya’ll! My debit card got switched with my boss’ at lunch today (both Red Wells Fargo)....I realized it at whole foods AFTER I ran it for $100 at Vanity Room getting my vaj waxed 🤦🏻♀️🤦🏻♀️🤦🏻♀️. Most awkward IOU ever tomorrow.
Today, this cop risk his life to save me from a sink hole but all I could do is laugh, I was so stoned
Randomize
