Can we have unprotected sex soon?
Don't quote me on that, I'm a walking boner
Midget sex pt 2 tonight
"Monday" is guna come over...
but its Thursday?
yeah, but she cant make it.Monday can...so there ya go
They wont let us in. Theyve some sort of no Daft Punk costume rule
Explain to me how it was that you spent the entire night playing pool with three lesbians and did not get a foursome out of it.
we aren't going to have kids. there's a 50% chance that they would look like him. not worth the risk
Did you eat 9 cans of raviolii last night?
Come on man nobody wants to admit that
I say go for the trifecta and maybe you'll get a medal or something. Or a baby. That's like the same thing right?
rollerskate sex sounded like a good idea...
THE VODKA TRAIN IS NOW PULLING INTO THE STATION
I'm so annoyed. We're about to buy groceries for the week and at this point I'm hoping to sustain myself on pure alcohol.
See, this is why we give you shit. Ashley gets her car cleaned out, I get multiple enchiladas made, and you get cum in your eye.
I fucked his roommate. And that roommate's best friend. And my roommate. And my roommate's old roommate.
i'm bowing down, but slow your roll.
I don't know what else is in your wedding gift, but I just pulled out a pair of handcuffs in front of her grandmother.
Also a whip and a blindfold. Don't be a bitch, enjoy it!
Well Jon got a DUI sleeping in the back seat so I thought the trunk was safer. BUT WHO CARES WHY JUSE PLEASE COME LET ME OUT!
Randomize
