If a girl drunk dials you she's at least entertained the idea of sleeping w/ you correct?
YES
They still haven't come up with a cure for a hangover; good luck cancer.
how ive managed to spend 100$ at an open bar is beyond me.
Are you seriously picking mariokart over a blowjob? nott to sound like a bitch but seriously?
we made out inside of a kiddie slide for about 20 mins. it was the sexiest, most suffocating experience I've ever had
I feel choking has become trendy-- ita losing its effect. I may just have to go back to missionary to spice it up
I'm sorry for biting your husband's ass last night.
Just know I'm having fun but I still have my motor functions.
Forgot to tell you--the bartender at Crowbar set his arm on fire last night. He was doing this "Cocktail" bartender trick of pouring alcohol that was on fire between glasses. Then some leaked out, onto his arm, and set his arm on fire, then his shirt. Exciting! (And he's ok).
I`m watching Shallow Hal & Jack Black has better nipples than Jimmy's chick.
I woke up this morning wearing his boxers as a shirt
I climbed up on the tank of the toilet so I could take a slo-mo vid of myself pissing into the garbage can, but the base of the toilet shattered and I had to bail.
When you wear a dress that resembles the shape and color of Kirby to a wedding, you get the attention you deserve.
When Dad gets to your house, ask him about the sound of anal beads. Happy Thanksgiving!
She moved all of her stuff out while we were gone. Shit in the toilet, and didn’t flush. So yeah it went well.
Randomize
