I'm drinking ghetto ass mojitos!
Wow. How can mojitos be ghetto?
Squirt + bacardi limon + limes = ghetto mojitos
Just gave advice in krystal burger while holding and pointing with a corona to a 3 year old, told her to enjoy her stroller time while it lasts. The mom pushed her away fast.
this is probably the only time in my life that i would want to fuck thomas jefferson
she was in the bathroom washing her eye makeup off with hand sanitizer.
No. I want to vom filet mignon and ziti bits everywhere and my body feels like I ran a cock triathalon. I feel less triumphant and more like death.
At least I will not still be rolling when I pick up this animal. Thats a good development in five years
Be proud. You give fat lesbians everywhere shower-nozzle worthy material for weeks on end.
This Alex the guy who suck your belly ring
Just smoked a joint with the hottest patient. God I love night shifts.
Zach, it's Lisa from work. Was that you yeiling BALLS DEEP at me on I-25 or is it just something about me that invites that from rando creeps?
he had shaved armpits. I repeat: HE SHAVED. HIS. ARMPITS! First hookup of 2014 and it's with a weirdo. Alcohol:1 Me:0
Nothing says I love you as your fiancé bringing back home your drunk brother from his own stag party
If I died tonight, I'd be content knowing you were the last person to see my boobs.
You barfed off the front porch while the elderly neighbors were walking their dog. We had to convince them not to call 911.
Pics or it didn't happen.
drunkkkkk be here I heart you
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