They say rihanna has been dating several mets players. They go on to say that she feels safe with them because they can't beat anybody.
So I ate yogurt with the back of my toothbrush. I feel like I've officially been initiated into college.
you used progresso chicken soup as a mixer last night
When your really high you cant order into a clowns mouth
It was odd. His friends dick tasted the same as his. Friends are beginning to have to much in common
Somewhere along the night we ended up at a food lion giving jello shots to high school girls.
Bring the cards this coming weekend. If I'm not here I died skydiving Friday
It was a cry at the bar alone type of night, served with a side of passing out facedown in my nachos.
I FEEL LIKE I CAN TAKE DOWN A FULLY GROWN MOUNTAIN LION WITH ONLY A POINTY STICK OH MY GOD
I was busy. But now I'm about to consume alcohol and chicken. We shall see where this takes us. Maybe to the moon, maybe to the floor. I have no idea.
How are you going to come here and fuck on our couch ? That's everyones couch
I can't relate, I like my boobs roaming free like a wild animal, and I occasionally let them devour small children
should i be that dick who brings a carpet in an uberpool
Why are you moving a carpet?
it's unimportant
I had to explain to an ER nurse that I burned my dick playing onion ring toss today, your social awkwardness hardly compares.
And to be clear I have only watched porn like 3 times at work
Randomize