i am NOT doing that with my feet, or any part of my body
FYI: Do not ever call any girl a thundercunt as a form of dirty talk.
you threw up in the bushes next to the ABC store and kept saying "you're home, blueberry vodka, you're home!"
so he made me dinner last pm @whch point i askd if i could help out. he hands me his fucking laundry and asks me 2 do it
only you. it could only happen to you.
I could be wrong, but im pretty sure i jumped off the roof after my lighter.
I almost had to get my pinky cut off. Wow I'm so happy. We won beer olympics so i didnt hahaha
Last night: Repeatedly yelled about how the fishbowl tasted like blue, stole a stranger's hat, hugged the DJ for playing my request, made out with my roommate, and abandoned the guy I dragged to the club in the first place
This morning: Hat doesn't fit, hangover headache is blue, and I can't move without getting lightheaded
Listen when they tell you not to drink after giving blood
She told me she's dating him because his apartment is a block from Taco Bell. I don't know how she's not fat.
This hurricane was the perfect excuse to buy 2 pounds of animal crackers and a case of beer. It's on Sandy.
is there a line between daddy kink and oedipus complex?
Showed up 15 minutes late and curtsied when I entered the door if that puts perspective to how my first day is going
I was full on naked standing in his room and I just said "this isn't me" and left.
Just had to tell a NYC cop I was doing the Dougie in a houndstooth jumper so he could find me in the security video.
Also your Swedish friend who's name I don't remember is really good in bed.
*Norwegian
I love you. Doing a double. Going to die. It will be painful. Let the world know i partied. God, did i party.
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