it was nice. we just kind of hung out. she didnt even mention the farting incident.
This was worse than the time that I shot a bald eagle.
Don't take this the wrong way but I just mistook a trash can for you
Yeah I'm gunna date him. I figure its regular sex and maybe feelings will come in time...it worked for arranged marriages...
one night of dollar margs at dinner and dollar beers at the bar later, i am throwing up in his shower and gurgling soap and water to kill the taste of sin in my mouth. dollar days need to stop endng like this.
I like my landing strip. Makes me feel sophisticated.
What you did last night can never be called sophisticated. I don't care how you trim your pubes.
If I weren't her cousin I'd take advantage of her and this low point in her life.
When you can pee with one hand accurately while texting, you drink too much.
Locals got pissed I was talking to the barmaid. Tried to tell me that they keep all the good beer at "a Soho walkup" Google saved me
Also I feel I should tell you last night when I came home I fell into my laundry hamper and woke up in a pile of my clothes
I asked her if she could eat some Doritos so when we made out it would taste awesome
You are in a fancy European city. The best way to truly experience the city is through Tinder
Nana saw my nipple rings & made me watch Joel Osteen all morning
i just ran butt naked down the hall and someone highfived me. i love college.
I'm a freaking penguin. one mate for life, and really awkward at parties
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