My only options right now are Herpes, Gay, or Vanilla.
we turned studying into a drinking game, she drinks when she gets it right, i drink when she gets it wrong. so we'll be out soon
She had to put it in. I told her I was too drunk and didnt trust myself to not put it in her ass.
It was also my first failed attempt at shower sex.
I want a nosebag of coke after my exam. Like what horses have. Coked up horses. No excuses. I love you.
THE MIME IS MIMING TO BUST A MOVE KARAOKE. ALL MIME-RELATED EVENTS DESERVE CAPS LOCK
On a scale of your daily life to smuggling crack into the DR, how illegal is it?
God I feel like the rain man of hangovers.
"If it gets you high just do it" I told him he was the Nike of drug abuse
Tell me I'm the only person you know who could punch someone at the bar, get escorted out, smoke a cig with the cop who almost arrested me AND get the security guy who escorted me out to buy me drinks.
I am making it a rule that only people I am comfortable around enough to not have to put a bra on are allowed for Sunday funday. I think that's a good rule for someone who started drinking alone at noon while everyone else here sipped their coffee.
He said you asked to eat pepperoni off his dick and he thought it was weird
I mean I thought it sounded fun
Two of my dealers just made friends at this party. Do you think one will be pissed if I buy from the other or should I just go 50/50?
I'm not drunk or hungover and I don't have to work. My body is sooo confused!
Ever get that feeling that you're the back up booty call and half way through securing the fake date excuse to try to get in your pants, the guy hears back from the original booty call and drops the conversation with no explanation?
Randomize
