Laying in bed naked with the guy I just fucked, talking to his WIFE who's sitting across from us like we're having a fucking tea party. This is interesting.
Just bought a disco ball for 5 dollars, of course we're drinking tonight.
I found him in the livingroom trying to soak up broken glass with the clock from the kitchen.
Its a bummer that corporate america doesn't believe in $2 u call its on a Sunday night
We were all definitely blackout with drunk goggles on, even though you and Amanda were the only ones dressed up as it.
I IMAGINED YOU YELLING SURPRISE WITH JAZZ HANDS. AND I LOVE YOU FOREVER
I didn't want to walk to anymore parties because I found a cat. It was magical.
He broke into my house just to tell me the door was locked.
I hung my underwear from the tree in his front yard. Consider my territory marked.
The hint wasn't even a hint. it said "stop talking to her" that's pretty straightforward
He was so energetic. It was like screwing a bunny.
You have to just make a conscious effort not to make out with people when he's around if you want to keep him in your life?
It happend again, swimming on the floor... Vodka is my friend
I've come to the conclusion that my issue is I'm not fucking a guy with a headboard
Southwest doesn't have zingzang bloody Mary mix. I'm gonna file a complaint with the FAA
Randomize
