I swear coke makes your nose hairs grow out of control
Dude, she uses Old Spice. It smelled like I was eating out my grandfather.
Also, our mothers are placing bets on which of us will get pregnant first.
You are in charge of making sure that her vagina explodes with joy tonight.
You had a towel around you and you called it your shot bib.
listening to the two girls in the next stall finish a 40 and laugh at this guy they both fucked. they're calling him 'tulip dick'.
Our brains have an emergency blowjob override switch. You saw proof tonight.
I just wanted to clarify that I am not bisexual and had no intentions of ACTUALLY penetrating my roommate with a can of bugspray.
I realized after pounding back 151 and head banging into each other to "the drop" of that dub step song, that we weren't meant to have boyfriends at this point in time.
Yaaaayyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyy! It has more than one y so my intentions to sleep with you after the drink special ends are clear
I think I'm the only sober person in the whole bar. If you count drinking less than 10 tequilas sober.
I have to take a quiz before midnight. Trying to decided if its a better idea to take it now when I'm stoned or later when I'm drunk.
I lose my morals, my dignity, and my selfie stick :(
Come on, will you just fuck him so we can watch Star Wars.
I will go to bed dreaming of sexy Olympians carting me on a throne to the beach where they feed me pizza and champaign and massage my head/wash it like the hair dresser does.
Randomize
