No. You are not the Kate in this relationship. I will do what I want.
I hate when laundry day is determined by the number of cum stains on my bed
i am breaking up with you. because you wash your hair too much and you only drink light beer and because you're not party enough.
The only thing worse than listening to you two fuck all night was waking up and smelling bacon and there not being any left.
Take in how we used all the shot glasses in the bar in less than an hour
People...there is no better feeling in the world than finding out via Google that your ex has a warrant out for his arrest. No better feeling.
Literally got mad at him this morning because we didn't have time to have sex for a third time. I think I'm getting greedy.
The compounded multi day delayed hangover hit me hard today, with a vengeance normally reserved for large objects that go in my ass. I don't feel good.
Just fell off my bed trying to pose and take a nude for you. Probably broke my wrist
These flip flops mean I'm casual, but I'm here to fuck.
i woke up in a bed of pop tarts
I really need to stop sending pussy pics if I'm going to be running for state representative in November
I deserve this hangover.
its 2pm and were already starting beer pong...its gonna be a good night
I’m on my third beer doing poppers in the shower to no doubt
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