first missing my period. then crying at the clinic... but why?
we had sex 3 months ago. you missed your period 2 weeks ago. but nice try.
Nope it's a specific set of cards not like a normal ace, queen king thing....kinda like UNO, but instead of yelling UNO you get shitfaced
I woke up naked on the bathroom floor. the tile grout marks on my boobs hurt, i mananged to use a roll toilet paper as a pillow. never again. did we eat salad?
Almost made out with Amanda but I told her "I'm in a committed fake lesbian relationship with Laura. I can't."
Listen, don't freak out when you walk out on me masturbating in front of my roommate. No homo. He just needs to be put to his place.
She came to class yesterday wearing a shirt saying Maybe Partying Will Help. Showed up to class today and puked three times.
Have you ever stopped and thought "I do NOT want to be inside of this person right now. Or ever." Because you should.
Just came to the realization that what I thought were orgasms were just lightheadedness from hyperventilation. My entire sex life is a lie.
I'm at a new rock bottom. Malibu on ice at work because it's the only thing they've got and no mixers.
I just want to have beer shits in my own bathroom. Is that too much to ask for?
I love how when they see that I'm upset their initial response is to offer me ecstasy
We might as well just set our livers out to sea on burning ships
I feel like there should be a 'roommate information section' of the paperwork when there's a chance you'll be given pain killers.
Guess who's the proud owner of her very own foxtail butt plug!!
I mean she's doing calculus in her head to prove how NOT drunk she is.
Randomize
