Christians are straight up FREAKS
the condom got lost in my hair
we both passed out while playing beer pong, woke up in the morning and continued to play coffee pong to cure our hangovers
I just walked in on my roommate beating off with no pants on, an unbuttoned hawaiian shirt and a cowboy hat, and he weights 300 pounds
I am expending an amazing amount of energy to not throw up right now
Also I think I'm starting to get calluses on my hands from my level of sexual activity
My sharpie cut off line was invaded last night. Where's my turtleneck?
How many of my tattoos need to be visible for an outfit to be considered "see-through"?
Are you still going to come over for your post Alcoholics Anonymous beer?
dude I just found tht weird ass guy u invited last night passed out in my closet.... apparently he "couldn't find the exit"
Can I join you for some emotional "Post: The Ohio State University's first lose in football after a 24 game winning streak" sex?
Clothes make me feel like a responsible adult and that's just not something I'm ready to handle.
My old dealer would be proud of the drug cocktail I just took for my back pain.
I got myself off in the shower last night for the first time ever! I just looked like I was playing a game of twister.
I would like you to know, a bag of cheese cubes just attacked me at work.
Randomize
