Yeah, but I'm out of licorice and there's no way anywhere near here will rent us all mopeds on a Tuesday night.
he fingered me, smelled his fingers, then asked me what i ate today..
I did the walk of shame to church this morning.
hooker boots and all?
Yep. People looked at me like I was the prodigal daughter returning home. Full of sins but welcome anyway.
Omg. I felt like a crazed animal last night. My lesbian instincts burned a hole in my panties.
Really? And is this the kinda party we talked about earlier?
Yup. It's just me crying in a closet eating soup
dude this night sums up my single life. naked, crying, and covered in honey. i need to get laid.
Are you setting a date to bone me?
Are you accepting?
Our DD has become famous. Strippers are asking to be handcuffed to him.
The horniest man in the world doesn't want sex as bad as I want pizza right now.
That was so not worth putting pants on for.
I'm just the girl with the breathalyzer keychain, and I embrace that.
I'm sorry I pissed in your bedroom and then woke you up when I tried to jump off the balcony
fuck emotions I should've gotten more cats
logically I know i should probably study somewhere outside my dorm room, but if I do that then I cant drink and smoke half as much while i study
Just learned that the cute guy I've been flirting with at the beach this whole time is actually an inmate working in the community instead of being in prison.. My life is unreal
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