this just has baby written all over it
Just threw up in airport security. Happy holidays.
She was narrarating everything she did.. like while making toast.
I forgot how few teeth there are in this state...
She is putting glow sticks from her bedroom to the bathroom. She is calling it 'Being prepared'. God help us all tonight...
She only fucks to metal. I don't know whether to marry her or run for the hills.
It would have been nice to break the dry spell with nice, civilized, sober sex somewhere other than on my friend's couch.
I never forget a pussy, even blackout me gives me that memory.
Am I the only one who saw the used condom in the driveway this morning
Considering all of my stomach contents ended up in my center console, I'm a bit peckish.
I woke up in the bathtub with money shoved down my pants. I must've done something right.
Did you fill my inhaler with tequila?
Yeah, so?
she threw up on her exam, awkwardly wiped it off with her sleeve and continued writing.
I sent my brother over to my ex's to get the rest of my stuff. He comes back SEVEN HOURS LATER, high as fuck without my shit! No loyalty.
be the chaos you wish to see in the world...
i'm trying to figure out how to respond to that in text
Randomize
