i think i just puked on my phone
we live great lives
that would combine my 3 fave things. christmas funfetti and paul simon
Do you think he woke up this morning, looked at you, and then regretted everything?
She had another shot and asked if I wanted to taste her tongue ring. Then I helped her pee.
It's getting increasingly easier to use his emotional instability to my advantage. That's about all he has going for him right now.
He might have if you were a little more subtle about your feelings instead of telling everyone multiple times how much you wanted his dick
i think smoking weed in a ladies bathroom on the beach with two dudes might be the shadiest thing ive done in a while
As the bouncer was escorting you out, you yelled "keep your filthy dick beaters off me!"
Had a guy spin me around at the bar, kiss me then say "oh shit you're not who I thought you were" and then walk away.
I don't know. She kept pirouetting across the kitchen while making dinner. I just sat there stoned.
.It's like gods test of willpower against vaginal comfort
I just found 20 dollars in my vibrator box. Was it a drunken sign to myself to get more?
I smoked all his weed and he hasn't noticed yet. But I might need a place to crash when he does
outside on the street drinkin, walked into a random house and asked to pee, some kid hands me a beer and says i have to chug it first
In other news there's 12 shirtless Korean dudes all trying to jump on a tiny little trampoline so that's entertaining
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