Will you blow on my dice?
i just woke up in the woods behind my house in handcuffs and a dan marino jersey ive never seen before
even through the webcam i could tell he was aiming for my face/hair
Cure to hiccups..road head..high five
good thing vaginas are great cup holders
Thanks for telling my landlord that the poop stain was yours and not my secret dog.
Whoever put the tambourine in the dryer is a douche. Worst hangover wakeup ever
He was a bulldog and my face was like rare meat. Never again with the drunken ones.
and she is using the paper towels as a pillow... but you know what? i've done that too.. so u can really tell we are sisters.
I have 39 hot sauces from Chipotle
It's like earning obesity badges
Wikipedia just saved you three hours and $30 on a bar tab. You should donate.
$5. Donated.
Idk I'm drinking Sam Adams and wearing new balances so I'm basically a dad
No,she came up with a new game: "Where is the most interesting place I can show Drew my asshole?"
I left him on his mom's lawn after he passed out in my lap and told me my vagina smells like flowers. Couple of the year award
dude me and this dog are gonna go bond oon the tramplene with stromboli... i think everyone is staring at me... being this high is SO stressful
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