no it's cool...i'm just drinking and studying...cool night
the reason why you were crawling on your hands and knees from room to room last night was because you thought the ceiling fans were chasing you...
that makes sense.
I wish they had a "No Yankees" filter on status updates.
my affection for youporn is starting to get disturbing... i just thought about sending them a christmas card
How do i write this on his wall without making it sound like he gave me an std?
He took naked pictures of me and told me if I ever got to the Disney Channel level of fame he would help me out. I think i'm in love
So I have the hangover from hell, spent all night puking, and there's a septic tank truck parked outside the house literally pumping shit. You win God.
NEVERCLEAR, NEVER AGAIN.
you kept thanking chef boyardee for having pull tab cans
My masturbation fantasy just had a wedding theme. I need new hobbies.
Seriously I can't get a booty call for some baked goods.
I dare you to find another dealer that delivers bud to your home along with deep fried vegan burritos
Well. I think my red tank top is jinxed. this is now the second time it's gotten jizz on it.
i just wanna know who wrote "dibbz" on my ass?
He has to be employed and covid free. That’s my standard. I can’t be picky. 2020 has killed my sex life.
Randomize
