Don't forget I'm 20 now
I liked you more when you were 19
So, just so you know... Your vasectomy worked.
bonus
Yes i believe i did use that word. It culminated in a man wearing a corset thigh highs and stripper shoes. All mine btw.
better to have posed nude and lost than to never have posed nude at all...thats what i always say
there was so much ham clogging the tub drain.. he said it was ok he has a cleaning lady
using blue streamers we found on the bathroom floor was probably not the best substitute for toilet paper.
Things I woke up with this morning: half a mcmuffin, orange hair, one shoe and a friendly german man. Tequila was a brilliant idea.
I had to stop mid sex to take my turn on words with friends so he wouldn't get suspicious. Hookup of the night helped me. We won.
My brother slept till 4, bought a sword, got drunk and sharpened said sword. I went to corporate compliance training. Life is not fair.
When I am this hungover I become increasingly grateful for having my own private office
It was the needle in the haystack of teary, unpleasant handjobs.
I am now picking what guy I will hang out with based on how many Pokémon they live near.
He radiates elegant sexual dominance. I bet even his balls have pinstripes.
He fucked my brains out then fed me cheese and peanut butter. I might be in love.
I just bought a mini nerf gun so he could make a bowl out of it, I deserve the fuck buddy of the year award!
Randomize
