yea ive hooked up with like half those guys
and i've hooked up with the other half...when our powers combine, we are captain slutbag
Its like common courtesy of dating, the guy pays for the weed, just like dinner
first time Ive ever had to stop sex to go pass out in the kitchen floor...
walked into the kitchen nd asked my mom what smells like tuna she replies" your sister" now i cant eat tuna...EVER!!!
highlight of my day: just saw a crying girl get dropped off at home wearing only socks, booty shorts, and a dirty wifebeeter. I wonder what happened to the costume...
sorry about calling you the devil all night.
I got a lot accomplished today, and the day is still young! I built a fort, hot boxed a fort, had a tea party in a fort, and now realizing how high I am.
I can't believe all the places I got into shoeless last night. Apparently no one will say no to a girl covered in paint with a ripped shirt
What can I say? I like my food like I like my women, not entirely fucked by our contemporary world.
My clothes are covered in blood and I feel like I drank a gallon of elephant cum...it's safe to say I'm hungover
I JUST ATE A STRANGE BURRITO, I SHOULD NOT BE EXPECTED TO KNOW ANYTHING RIGHT NOW.
Nothing like cleaning out your cleavage from lunch, finding cookie crumbs and eating them...
I've got a tequila scented hand sanitizer for you.
you're the best roommate i could ever have.
Dude no i feel my liver disintegrating
That confirms what we've all known all along. I'm a bad gay. I have no fashion sense.
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