So is it bad that I'm using this 21 year old for his hot bod and utter naivety?
No its what 21 year olds are made for
When I saw him standing at full height, I realized exactly how much his body structure reminds me of his penis.
I'm thinking we should try to start remembering stuff we do. Althought I kinda like feeling like Nancy Drew the next morning.
More like the Hardy Boys cause its kinda like a team effort.
How do you tell if you're on the terrorist watch list?
either she said she was feeling frisky or eating friskies..i was too drunk to understand.
I can't believe i facilitated a beer for sweater vest deal last night...
Honestly, I've had enough of his asshole to last me the new year.
Please tell me you're talking about his personality.
You could make a naked club. One member, you. One president, you.
Like if a baby's bottom had nipples, that's how my boobs feel
I fell asleep with a half eating burrito in my hand and woke up to cat vomit with burrito in it.
I'm going to invent an ap that tests your stress levels before texting and will say something like "nope, go rub one out and try again in 10 min"
Dude, do you think he'd be pissed if he found out that I always reference him as my starter husband?
I've got five complains from the landlord about she being too loud during sex in two weeks I'm marrying her
She came home, put on the news, left a 20 minute drunk message on her friends machine, then proceeded to play back the entire message laughing hysterically and then just passed out
I'm at the drive thru window, five minutes out. If the bathtub is empty or you're dressed when I arrive I'm not sharing.
Randomize
