is it true you fucked a yoga instructor last night??! ..and let me know if you want me to post that question on your facebook so kelly can see how happy you are without her
I can't ever handle being "that girl" again. At least not until next semester.
Eating hibachi. The chef is squirting sake into my mouth with a ketchup bottle. Happened twice, more to come.
Peter invited his little brother to smoke with us and he is trying so hard to pretend he's done it before. When he saw the weed he was like "hell yeah!" and everyone got completely silent and just looked at him
this will be a night to untag.
just found out i can blow out the flame on the grill lighter fill my mouth with butane and ignite a fireball
I puked walking onto the plane. How do you think my post-Birthday hangover went?
So... Really random... You know we only exist cause Dad misspelled 'perseverance', right?
My phone autocorrects "pooping" to "popping" and I'm like DO YOU EVEN KNOW ME??!
If I do nothing else today, the fact that I talked you into this is achievement in itself.
Herpes is not a lady problem you can solve with shower beers and kissing boys
You were so fucked you introduced me to a pile of Laundry
I wondered why I slept in the front room
I feel like I'm in a astronaut outfit like I'm a spaceman & I'm just floating around cause that's all you do in space is float and I'm floating to be in detail
Houston we have a problem
I woke up and he already had a joint rolled waiting next to the bed. Love.
I went with vodka instead of tequila tonight so I make better decisions. Fool proof plan.
Randomize
