if it were possible I'd exchange my vagina for a diff one on the black market.
the guy at the pet shop just had an eye seizure while looking at my chest
I'm sorry but all I really read was "my nipples will get hard."
I should hang a sign above my bed that says "get hard or go home."
cell reception changed and I can no longer text you from the toilet... that means I'll be texting you less often, just fyi
And then i had a penis in each hand. It was magical.
Toga everclear = hospital visit... Im sure the paramedics hate me right now
I had to close one eye to read the questions on my final this morning. That hungover.
now that you've tased me I refuse to buy you flowers
Passed out drunk in a tanning bed...
Did At The Beach call the fire department to get you like last time?
you started petting my head and said "there there, majestical unicorn. it won't be long before we get you back to neverland."
The hot streak continues..if life was NBA jams i would be "on fire" right now
I let him stay at my place since i had to work early and when i got home there was a fruit snack wrapper in my bed. I dont have any fruit snacks. Which means he brought his own fruit snacks to the fuck session.
I explained to him that me turning straight is a once a year thing. And this boy just happens to be the chosen one.
Your ex spoke highly of your penis and it’s skill. I’m interested in learning more about it ;-)
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