I like my sex mixed with concussions.
You know, I didn't realize this at the time, but it appears that I am being "heavily petted" by 3 grown men in that pic.
If these were biblical times then you'd be a Roman Senator.
You should get sea herpes
I mean sea horses
You know you are bi when you flip between the NFL Network and LOGO.
Umm you don't wanna know how many "I'm sorry for calling you last night" fb wallposts I just had to write...
You have to understand, this is the first time I'm looking at a whopper sober.
Damn it if I pass out in the bathroom one more time this month im going to rehab...
I'm taking this break up pretty rough.. I've never been to sad to masturbate.
Just know I'm having fun but I still have my motor functions.
passed out in the hallway last night, now I'm sitting down in the shower, eating lukewarm canned soup out of Tupperware, listening to Carly rae jepsen.. I had a rough night.
Apparently, the right response to, "How do you feel about a terrorist being in the area?" isn't, "Well, we have vodka in the freezer, so we're good for now."
It bothers me when I see my old fuck buddies starting families on Facebook.
I swear to God if you fuck my cousin I will fuck your dad.
SpongeBob is life. I once broke up with a guy bc he said SpongeBob was stupid.
Nothing is more confusing than dreaming about being chased by jets, then waking up with an erection.
Randomize