You know how britney does the hair flip too much in her new videos? Thats me right now
You know, I didn't realize this at the time, but it appears that I am being "heavily petted" by 3 grown men in that pic.
If these were biblical times then you'd be a Roman Senator.
I think my emotional moodswings have reached a new low. I cried for the entire duration of changing my tampon.
If you are in NYC and not seeing anyone, you should come fucke me now because:1 i am not in love with you anymore, 2 i am drunk enough where i won't feel the n eed to kisx you awardly to avoid your beard, 3we have unfinished business that i wpn't get -assed unyil orgass have been had, 4 i really really want to
john hughes is dead. crushing any and all dreams of me ever being in an 80's john hughes film. bummer.
I was just told by a cop that my party was the most epic party they ever crashed
You know you had good weekend wheb we you hook up with three different girls and you don't feel no pain when u pee in the morning
Apparently Sundays are the worst days for your friends to get their head split open and need stitches...there's only 1 doctor on duty
It's amazing how many friends she makes simply by carrying that flask of whiskey everywhere she goes.
I Know I'm the drunk girl in the trunk right now, BUT PLEASE LISTEN TO ME!
One my way home. There was too much fog, strobe lights, and cocaine for my taste.
IF HE CAN'T EVEN MAKE EYE CONTACT IN CLASS, I DOUBT THERE WILL BE OTHER FORMS OF CONTACT ON OUR FIRST NOT-A-DATE DATE
I'm waiting at the bar and am surrounded by unattractive women.
You need to get here and rebalance this disturbance in the force.
I just used a thesaurus to write a sext...
Also, why does our bed smell like mayonnaise?
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