"it" just moved
That guy youre talking to looks like Brian from Family Guy.
thanks for being my friend even though im irresponsible with my vagina
is it bad if I use the term bowl as a measurement of time, as in how long it takes to smoke a bowl?
my drunk uncle just explained that turkeys are not gentle lovers... and no context doesn't make it better.
im trying not to drink and cry in the same night anymore. i'll let you know how it goes
Rule #127: If your going to try fuck a married guy, you gotta be hotter then his wife; diet starts today.
It's really sad that I'm trying to calculate in my head the type of place to have dinner that's worth anal
It's 3:30pm, I've been out of bed for an hour and spent most of that barfing. We're switching to beer next debate.
I just dried my bra with your hair straightener because the drier is broken again.
Just ate Panda Express. Fortune cookie had no fortune in it. I actually prefer this. Less broken dream potential.
Who wants to play the "pick up your shit from our floor because you're not paying rent or dating either of us" game?
I looked like a tiger in heat. He didn't know if I wanted to fuck him or eat him.
Thanks for wearing matching bob ross shirts to the bar with me and referring to every guy as a happy little accident
i told you i was taking the Metra Train, and you asked what type of drug that was.. so yes i believe you when you say you were fucked up
Randomize