so today I found out that she used to be a he....
are you gonna get a divorce?
Have you asked your drug dealer if he wants to see harry potter with you?
so far we have 6 big wheels and 10 boxes of wine for the tour de franzia. team drunkslut is favored to win the yellow jersey.
I cannot take someone's straight and gay virginity in one threesome. It's just too much responsibility.
Never thought I'd say this but I just want to go home, ice my balls, and pop a Vicodin.
Okay the common myth about putting tampons in you nostrils for a nose bleed is busted. It just starts coming out through your throat.
You'd be proud! I didn't lose my id this time... It got confiscated
What would you say is a healthy ratio of sex vs. being called a fucking asshole in a relationship?
we were making out in my truck and while she was straddling me she informs me that she jerks off horses for a living. Should I be concerned or flattered?
I need an IV, a new head, and stronger morals.
It is a bad day indeed when you learn that your boy toy looks better in your dresses than you do
We were like ok let's be eachothers maid of honor and then you were like "ok see you at the wedding" and walked away
I literally cut myself out of my pants. What is my life.
I'm glad he doesn't have a bigger dick because he'd just use it for evil anyway
I think I'm dead. Also I think I stole $20 from a stripper.
You did. Then gave it to me.
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