Soo....this goes on the list of odd coincidences. My gyno calls me while I'm going at it, leaves me a message. I check it later... thank God I tested negative.
It's 10am, I'm at grocery store buying booze b/c the bf just told me that he didn't "technically" break up with his ex.
my hangover today makes thursday's feel like a bubble bath.
Everyone makes mistakes, yours just means you will forever be known as the chick that tried to steal a cheese plate from the funeral.
I apparently spent $173 at the bar last night. The proof is in the vomit on my pillow and the receipt I tried to clean it up with.
she kept asking for a lobster dinner while she was crying. it was actually the most reasonable drunk chick request i've ever heard.
Bonus points if someone shits their pants. Only 1/2 bonus points if it's you
Bonus points are bonus points regardless
Nothing says walk of shame like leather pants in daylight
There is a 90 percent chance I threw up in a mailbox last night....
Oh my god did you actually lose a tooth
I'm on the porch day drinking and the neighbor is in his yard screaming about his amazing sandwiches, maybe we should move.
I peed outside 4 times after the bar, safe to say I had great night
Are you alive? Cause this is my official "im actually alive" text.
We need a rematch, I think my pussy was on vacation the other night.
where are my eyebrows?
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