ya ever know whats down there. always send some fingers in first to scout the situation. fingers are not used for pleasure. they're used for covert missions.
Apparently I farted on her in my sleep. Then, just to be sure she was cool, I did it again on purpose and she didnt say anything. So, WIN?
Her best guy friend really had a thing for her all along.... Now we're back together and he's gone Dawson's Creek with his away messages.
I wonder why dictionaries dont have indexes to help find the words easier.
no one will drink with you if you continue to listen to beyonce
can you imagine how much money lesbians save on birth control?!?
bitches.
this is no time to have dignity 4/20 is coming
As I sit on the toilet at 4 am I realize tonight could have gone a lot better
By the way, playing "guess who I had sex with last night" was a great way to start a Thursday, or any day
While I was fucking him, he grabbed a taco off his shelf and started eating it. I had taco dripped on me. I have no idea where the taco came from.
I paused mid sex to tell him I wished I'd taken up barrel racing so I could ride better.
I kept on yelling at him to get his shit together as he was puking
We should buy t shirt guns and blow eggs out of them at his house. Bachelorette party
Don't EVER mix a flaming shot, with a Jello shot.. As good as it sounds flaming Jello is not a good idea
Sorry I’m late. Got horny watching the traffic report and had to rub one out
Randomize
