Are u religion class? I'm on my way, I have cum in my hair. tell u later.
i feel like a thai whore the morning after the navy left.
upper decked the toilet at the restaurant that wouldn't let me pee there yesterday
you yelled then hung up at the girl on information bc she could not pinpoint your location and tell you how to get to dennys
so i used to love airports for the escalators... now its the bars... then the escalators after the bars
Too long to explain. Basically I started an electircal fire. No one was hurt except for a box of cereal near the outlet.
there's a wings menu taped to my wall. don't tell me i don't have my priorities straight.
Cognac is not meant to be taken in shots. I just wanted you to know the desperation of last night.
I'm drinking carlo rossi straight from the jug. I don't have any clean cups...how am I still at this point in my life...
He makes me wish my vagina was bigger... This must be what love feels like.
Due to the events of st patties day last year I created a moral and ethical policy so that I won't get kicked out of the bar again. It mostly consists of not wearing pants so then I don't take them off at the bar.. and subsequently get kicked out.
Could have been worst, could have seen me bent over biting her carpet while her son was inside me, i think i would have respnded with "i was just trying to be quiet"
You understand the drunkenness of my drunkenness
She's really sweet and cute, but when she drinks, she becomes way too proud of her bush.
I hate when my Bumble matches make it hard for me to stalk them.
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