ill give you a foot job if you come over before 4
Will you Wikipedia Vin Diesel? Is he gay? It's important...
soooo.. i guess the cop said he'd drop the charges if i go to some AA meetings and i said fuck AA. not one of my better choices.
I can die happy now, I have been kicked out of strip clubs on six different continents
I'm just gonna be the bigger person here and say I want you inside me
listening to happy ending by mika while imagining him to run after me at an aiport in slow motion... also, dipping oreos in baileys. not taking this breakup well. at. all.
Things bear mace does not do: repel bears. Things bear mace does do: piss off bears, give bystanders asthma attacks. Lesson learned
can I share that I'd like to fuck him in my new car as a sort of car warming present to myself?
Biggg time. I found 2 empty packages of extenze in my car this am.... not sure what that was all about
I have got to stop taking so many uppers and downers simultaneously. My life is a Dali painting.
Meant to have fun, ended up giving speech about consent to guy at bar. Feminist side feels happy. Orgasms side feels confused and betrayed.
She asked me to dress as captain planet for halloween and told me she was gonna suck the pollution out of my dick.
Can you please venmo me emergency money? i have no pants.
I am 5' 11" of pure, uncut Fuck Off right now.
it doesn't matter what you do now, you will forever be known as the girl who fell off the roof
nooooo! we need to brain storm. I need rebranding....what if I start always showing up with my cat or a wacky hat?
try again roofio
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