she offered me iced tea and went to go change.then her dad came in the door.i thought i was on how to catch a predator.
If you bang a chick other than your girlfriend while playing tiger woods on xbox I wonder if an accomplishment would come up...
She was kinda tragic... like a puppy that runs into things. Cute but really stupid. So, yeah, I hit it.
the only thing coherent you said from what i saw of you is when you were throwing up, i asked if you were done and you just "uh huh you know what it is"
martini and pecan pie.. breakfast of champions.
His idea of romance is drunkenly leaving me dead dandelions on my car in the middle of the night
When you're awkward as a teenager, it never goes away. You just mask it. With makeup. And boobs.
The woman that sang I Touch Myself died today. There's only one appropriate way to honor her memory.
I'm on the job.
I'm so tired I just poured monster in my coffee.
And it tastes incredible.
And I have chest pains.
If I had your job the next day id be on the news. And not the good news. Like fox & friends. Nancy grace would have my ass.
Holy fuck where did this cat tattoo on my ass come from
I think he may actually care that I call him slampiece instead of his real name. Who knew he had feelings?
random boy in my bed. last night wasnt a dream. fuck.
Well, I turned down sex again. This is guy #5 in the past 2 weeks. My vagina is going to seek emancipation.
ya figured it'd be nice to explore the mythical world of sober sex i've heard so much about
i've often wondered how it works
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