We just built a bong out of a pineapple. I am never leaving hawaii. Ever.
So yes, he's hot, a scorpio, an artist and a perfect cock. I think my bi train just arrived in gay town.
Mom just Facebook checked into an Applebees at 2am. Caption: ''WITH THE BESTIEZ.''
Oh my God. He stopped counting at 22.. His senior year. I feel the STDs infecting my taint as we speak.
When the doctor said the anal leakage might not be reversible without some lifestyle changes you start asking if it's worth the entertainment value.
How do I know if porn I have watched is haunted?
Awkward is sitting in your parking spot and making eye contact with every one of your next door neighbors two hours before you have a threesome.
I have never fucking hated the horrible sound of dozens of off-key recorders BLARING their fucked rendition of "Fais Do-Do" in unison against the screams of an adult male... more than I do now. This is why people avoid teaching. Kill me. End it all.
Just bought a dildo. Happy first time single in four years Valentine's Day to me
I'm not sure why he thinks weird that I masturbate AND look at pinterest at the same time.
Just puked in a cup. Poured it out the window.
Well, I got drunk and told my family about what I expected sexually after a good first date.
The dude we met that gave us weed sent me a video of his balls covering the sun like a solar eclipse
i mean ive seen your left buttcheek how much more bro can this get
If I had a dollar for every functioning brain cell you had I would owe someone a lot of money
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