thanks for house sitting, cat must be hiding again... everything go ok?
... about that ...
What are you doing tonight?
Watching dora the explorer and pining for a sex life.
I bet the first cavemant to make fire got so much pussy
I don't care if he acts like a don't exist 6 days a week. On the 7th day he makes makes my vagina cry. In a good way. Jesus understands.
im wtih 32a right now bc 34d is on her period. now i know how girls feel when their hookups go from magnums to regulars
It's official, there's a sex tape of me floating around some high school
Drinking ketchup directly out of the bottle does not make it tomato juice.
I woke up to a 3rd person picture of my own dick sent from a 1-800 number..
I bet Billy Ray Cyrus wishes he had pulled out now....
he cancelled our romantic dinner reservations so we could stay home and watch a Rocky movie marathon and order pizza. i know i should be upset but i think i'm kinda in love.
Vodka and tater tots have managed to satisfy me more than most of the guys I've slept with.
Secrets from the porn industry: liTERALLY SHOVE A SEA SPONGE UP YOUR VAGINA GO ON DO IT
Do me a favor and scream dirty things at him in a polite sexy, come hither way
I'm not the type to go to a guys house...in your case his boat...and sleep with them..I mean I have in the past but I'm trying to be more serious and grown up
just showered sitting down cuz standing seemed like too much work, thursdays need to stop making me their bitch.
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