Well i threw up in my mouth a few times. But i successfully swallowed it. Still going strong.
Do you have any idea why the dryer isn't working?
Because you touch yourself at night.
Leaving the dealer's house. He just gave me a sincere hug and said good luck. This cant end well.
yea i thought the egg drop soup tasted weirdly like cum, and then i suddenly remembered what happened last night.
i'm never eating chinese again.
Watching the gap toothed girl get more ass than me is almost devastating.
Lil wasted at a baby shower. Here's to beating teen pregnancy BOTTOMS UP
Nahh. Maybe not even a handful. It's more like a heaping teaspoon worth of dick.
So good!! I became real good friends with an adorable black lesbian couple from Baltimore and a man in a diaper.
he went down on me to a drake song and now i think i need a penicillin shot
I feel like a girl who eats her problems away with fast food.
When all else fails, you can always look down at your enormous penis.
Woke up with a 22 year old with the number for a different girl written on my stomach, almost 30 can suck my dick I still got this shit
Like you haven't hit rock bottom until you have had to throw your own turd out a window
None of these texts make sense. except for "step 2.5 equals velociraptor." that i get.
Checked my bank account this morning...apparently I went to 7-11 at 4am and spent $22 on taquitos. New all time low for me.
I ate all of them. New all time low for ME.
I wish I got tanner on friday but I feel like I spent most of my time puking in the bathroom. I love my life
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