I cheated on you last night. I slept with my laptop.
She's like the little sister I never had ... except for the fact we're having sex.
She gave me a foot massage with her tongue. I think we're both scarred for life.
This is the last weekend of getting drunk and having sex all nite with the plumber. I'm exhausted all weekend and I'm never going to finish the remodel at this rate
you got me arrested i just think that goes without question you owe me a blowjob
Currently doing my walk of shame down a floating dock. No more guys who live on a boat EVER AGAIN
I just threw up on the floor. And we're gonna fuck on the beer pong table, so keep everyone upstairs.
I fcuked ip.
Is this your way of telling me that you got drunk in your office before meeting with your dissertation advisor again? Or that you finally banged that freshman fraternity pledge?
So your best guy friend eats your pussy once and a while, no big deal. It's like going to jiffy lube once and a while to let the professionals do it. Your husband should understand .
Okay. How did someone manage to piss on TOP of a urinal? What giant is roaming around with a prick five feet from the ground?
About to go get a free burrito for kissing a bald man in public
My girl came home. i was jacking off on the couch and she just starts telling me about her day, as if im not half naked with my hand on my cock.
Do you think I could get someone from tinder to drive me to the airport?
I wore wrist and ankle weights while we had sex. Does that count as working out?
There are leaves in my underwear?
Randomize
