Good, she had spurs on her boots. That is a sign for instant herp attack.
The first clue should've been that he literally had shit in his hair. How does that even happen?
you two really need to work out your issues. my vagina can't handle another week of your pent up frustrations.
I'll hold a taco with my boobs for you
My dream had 1 penis and 2 pizzas in it. Priorities?
I am eating deep fried cinnamon rolls and I found a lighter in my sprinkles. I miss you.
Stop thinking your God dude. You passed out. God doesn't pass out...
I asked him why he was eating an entire can of refried beans, the only answer I got was "revenge"
In light of your oncoming completion of twenty-three years of personhood, I feel a pressing need to blast country-pop phenomenon Taylor Swift's hit single "22" in your general direction until midnight.
It's pizza for people who hate themselves. I rang the place up once i'd finished and told them if i was on death row it would be my last meal because by the time i'd got half way through it I would be begging to die.
But then I ordered two more because it was 2-4-1 and my life is a mess
He made me choke him and call him Papi..so all in all a good night.
I don't know why I do this to myself his dick is a constant source of disappointment.
Sex in a hot air balloon, top that one!
Seriously if we go to rome ur fucking me into the sunset on a wrought iron balcony overlooking Vatican City
When I planned out my evening, "co-author lesbian vampire erotica" was not anywhere on my list of expected activities.
Me neither, but hey, this is where we've ended up. Let's embrace the moment.
Randomize
