I want to give you a handjob with my mouth.
omg he said he wants to insert his penis into my vagnia what do i say
tell him to stop quoting family guy
No offense but you kinda look like a Jack Johnson fan in that pic
Signed everyone in my dorm up for free samples of astroglyde. Took me an hour. Happy new years!!!!!
but there are maragaritas for $3 so that was all i needed to hear
i just watched a special on porn, the business isn't doing so good. You may want to wait before you start your career
Then he showed me his sketchbook. Every drawing was a hand in different 'fingering positions'. Dear JESUS.
she hid the dish soap because she was afraid someone would confuse it with the margaritas and drink it instead. her reasoning was "theyre both soo pink...i cant tell them apart"
And by "got a tattoo" i mean i got a tattoo in the dorm bathrooms with a guy using his cousin's tattoo gun.
It's sad that your definition of adulthood entails banging your boss after getting hammered at happy hour, and putting the tab on the company credit card.
If it involves mee putting on a bra and discontinuing my 11 am drinking my answer is a polite fuck YOU
dude, where are you? this beer run has taken so long i read war and peace, took a nap, and shaved 3 times.
Was i rolling around in a parking lot last night
Can I make sure all my sluttiness goes to you when I die? You're the only person I know who'll make use of it
You should probably come home from vacation now. I make badddd decisions when you're gone.
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