I have so many mobile devices now, I only use my laptop for porn.
He DELETED brick breaker off his blackberry why even bother trying to find something in common?
There was a gorilla playing an accordion outside of my last final. I miss college already.
I had to throw up. it was the only way to avoid kissing her after she swallowed..
How can I look at her with a straight face when she has dry puke on her eye lid
There's some drunk girl alone in the field, she looks like she could use some help.
Also it's only fair that you know that that girl is me.
he just flipped me off the bed, said "deal with it", and came on me.
Fran... I put my tongue in somebody's gage hole last night.
Dude. All those hangovers I never had came back with a vengeance. I just opened the door of this car to barf. The car was not motionless. We are on the autobahn.
When he texted me, I got a little wet. Until he asked me to get Jimmy Johns before I got to his house.
i told him I'd let him eat part of a weed cookie out of my cleavage, so he pulled over like a gentleman.
Ryan friended me on LinkedIn and it took everything in my power not to endorse him for sexual dysfunction as a skill.
and than he said 'I did amateur porn for a while' and I just knew tinder did not fail me this time
Should I tell him how he got the bruise on his ass or just enjoy his theories?
Is there something wrong with us? Seriously.
Possibly, but I'd rather not fix it.
Randomize
