I'm having a terrible night. Can I sleep over?
Too tired to pretend that I care : (
I don't care how ugly she is, I can't turn down a free movie +bj. In this economy that's downright irresponsible
Have you been tested recently?
Well I got my shots when I was a baby so I think I'm immune
She came in to my room half naked at 3am asking me if I had seen the movie balls deep 7
was i strangled at any point last night? or was his dick just that long
Is it hot in here? Is the room moving? Its moving. The room is moving. Its spinning like a top. Have you ever been covered in puke? What are you doing?
Within the span of 10 minutes, I managed to make a slip 'n slide on his stomach, threatened to pee on him, kneed myself in the eye, and almost fell asleep on the toilet....in that order.
I'm home alone for the next hour and a half, I expect soup and and a willing attitude to do drugs from one of or both of you girls.....annnnnd go
As Scar once said. Be prepared! For the shit show of what's coming tonight
When did it become normal to wake up in the middle of the night to take a group bathroom break and have a 10 minute discussion on where the next football game is?
What are the chances I get my period 2 weeks early just as welcome week starts. My uterus is conspiring with my dead catholic grandma
I'm pretty sure I just orgasmned my way out of paying for that weed
I was going to be upset with you on moral grounds but then i realized free chocolate was involved
I am luring the porn star to my house with chicken!
Thanks for making me a drunk burrito last night and cutting it into bite size pieces, I always knew you were a keeper.
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