Yesterday I was informed there is a jewish dating website called jdate, I'm considering joining out of academic curiosity
Do you need to be saved?
No I think I'm God
That's kind of creepy but I guess since I'm wearing your dad's pants nothing is off limits anymore
I think im going to throw up on grandma
He just said "Chunky" very loudly in his sleep.
Just when you think you're never going to have sex again, BOOM you're naked in bed with a guatemalan
I wonder if a fish could survive in vodka
I could
Please tell me last night did not happen and there is another reason why my phone smells like ranch sauce ahahah
Sending dick pics while driving a car going 80 in the rain at night to a married woman? Why hello 2014
After that time I came to the conclusion that jeeps are the best cars to have sex in
There they were doing the deed on the beach, looked like two seagulls fighting over a chicken bone.
the only reason I'm still sleeping with him is to get the university's secure wifi password
i woke up this morning put my hand under the pillow and there was a banana there
I was in the rappers prayer circle. Then they're blunt circle
If I had a dollar for every functioning brain cell you had I would owe someone a lot of money
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