It would be worth it to see how drunk he is right now.
He cartwheeled into the side of the neighbor's garage.
Ok, i'm coming over
Next weekend I am getting a library card and staying my whore ass home.
Sometimes I wish there were a little bird hiding that would periodically go, "creep-per."
After waking up today, I would like to find the Jesus preachers on campus to ask for help in asking for forgiveness to God.
i'm not the one sitting naked in my room playing with my boobs and a cat.
I feel like I should lick our pitcher just so everyone knows its ours
Amazing. Super drunk. We stole a street sign in a golf cart and went around jousting trash cans all night.
Just reduced mom to tears when she realized I wasn't kidding about hating kids. She's crying about never being a gma. Now would be the time to tell her about the girl you knocked up. You're welcome.
I have yet found the courage to put pants on. No judgement thursday led to no shower friday and now no pants saturday. God i miss college.
P.S. The slutty NASCAR driver costume will be saved and used year round for role play.
Yeah. You can ask him out. We're just fuck buddies. My vagina will be sad but your heart can be happy.
Sorry, I am not your wing girl tonight,. in my pjs, eating cereal from the box. Hell I only shaved the inside of my legs just so they wouldn't itch. Not happening.
You fell out of his top bunk onto his set of golf clubs. After seeing blood on your leg, you proceeded to sing "the first cut is the deepest" while sprawled on the golf clubs
She just. Cock slapped me. With string cheese.
His wife isn’t coming to the wedding! I’ve got 48 hours to home wreck him. Gotta go, I have to shave my vajayjay and buy some really slutty underwear. Love you!
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