So, does it mean i'm loose if he can't even tell when he fell out?
Shaking her cervix like it's the hottest ticket around
I don't remember her missing an ear while we were at the bar
I was scoping hash out of our weed jar with a spoon and I realized we need to buy actual utensils. This plastic shit is killing me I've broke 3 spoons
I'm pretty sure every guy I've been with this weekend has made a solid attempt at getting me pregnant...
Now I can say "look me up on Pornhub."
He literally cocked blocked all the dudes that tried to talk to the girls he was with, and they all loved him.
Same guy who tossed the brunet over his shoulder as they left screaming "Bring me my lucky shovel!"
No, supporting your unemployed boyfriend IS NOT what credit cards are for.
Where was Alyssa when you were sniffing the bouncer?
Passed out on some guy who looked like someone from Duck Dynasty.
currently buying a pregnancy test while braless so happy november to you too
Just to clarify, I'm still tripping balls
On an unrelated note, I've come up with a theory of everything
Remember that girl from my stats. class that I ran into at the bar 2 weeks ago? She literally hasn't been to class once since I told her I sit behind her.
It smells like grilled cheese and sexual frustration
Dude, A DAMN CHEESEBURGER HIT ME IN THE FACE!!! WTF was i suppoused to do!?.
What are you, a fucking toaster ?
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