So when does "going out for one drink" = giving some guy an HJ on the sidewalk?!?
we did it on the carpet and she just yells out "OH. MY PSORIASIS".
Ramen noodles and uncensored jerry springer episodes, what a nice life i have.
i DID NOT walk around with my knees bent and my hands behind my back with long spandex and underarmour pretending to be Apollo Ono
I don't think anyone has ever said "boy I'm glad I took those shots of everclear" when they wake up
Just got an Edible Arrangement my parents sent me for my birthday. Time to marinate some fruit in vodka.
Sorority life is like alcoholic girl scouts, plus douchebags in polos.
Even with having the shower running and music on everyone could hear the alcohol gods making me sacrifice my dignity and meals from the past week.
I wish him all the best and hope one day he can afford the surgery to remove his head from his ass
Matt and I's climactic adventure has ended with Matt being hauled off to jail. And now his brother and I are having lunch and a beer.
So, left this guys house wearing a #1 Grandpa shirt and I think this is the best sex score I've ever had.
You asked for his ID and then said "I am like a bouncer but for my vagina."
Had a rough day but my boyfriend made that all better by going down on me while letting me watch Top Gear... I'm buying the engagement ring tomorrow
Don't get yourself off tomorrow. We. Are. Having. Sex. That's that. Just dont do it.
Guuuuurrrrrl! He ate the 🌮like it contained the Covid-19 vaccine!
Randomize
