Just tried calling my phone on my phone because i thought i lost my phone.
Why does Jon Cryer have a career?
That is a good question.
Four minutes until I can fart!
i am doomed to only fuck guys with curved cocks
Just learned how to deliver a baby.the things i saw tonight can never be unseen
They had half off shots during the fourth quarter. I was powerless.
No, not at all. Pulling a condom out of your vag at 2pm is NOTHING like finding $10 in your winter coat. Stop trying to make me feel better.
he was gone before i woke up. left a pee stain, phone number, note and $20 for sheets. safe to say i will not be calling.
im starting to recognize places in this city by where i have drunkenly peed in public
My g-ma saw your dick-pic and wants you to know I've got a keeper. She says her big whopper died in Korea. Good thing g-pa is still asleep.
How is it that I've hooked up with not one but two guys in the children's section of a bookstore tonight?
Dude if I call tonight please answer and just say "NO, dont do it."
BAT SHIT CRAZY
It's you're fault, even though I never called
That's a good 5 hours of "I have no fucking idea what I did".
I'm debating a nap but also debating breaking into the liquor cabinet
I found my wallet. Still have no idea when I put mad dog in my steel water bottle, though...
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