Theres a disney princess moonbounce on karen st. and I'm drinking beer at a little league field. this might end with me in jail.
Ok...drunk girls at the bar are charging $1 for motorboating. It's fucking WEDNESDAY. I never want to leave.
at last call she tried to get the bartender to fill her flask. when he refused, i had to stop her from trying to pour the rest of her beer in there.
Not a single person will look me in the eye. Last night must've been bad.
Nicee. Atleast your phone doesn't change pen in to PENISsSSSSSSS like mine does
We defiantly won best dressed in the ER tonight
Be proud. You give fat lesbians everywhere shower-nozzle worthy material for weeks on end.
It doesn't matter how many beers you've had, it's unacceptable to piss in someone's helmet after a playoff win.
Stop calling dibs on everything with a vagina you jackass.
That should be the title of my autobiography.
I'm hungover laying in my moms bed watching Space Jam.. Adult Life..
I can assure you I didn't go home with a girl, because I woke up on someone's porch
Like your dick isn't Beyoncé, it doesn't get close ups
ICE CREAM AND CAKE BITCHESSSSSS
The list of people who didn't throw up last night is insanely smaller than the list of people who did
So it was a successful night I take it?
i think i passed out for a few seconds while we were having sex but he didnt notice...
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