yo I wanna see you, bring that beard of yours
I just woke up and i'm wearing a cape and it says sup slut on my ass
Just had a conversation with Jon gosselin
Until you fuck him in front of his kids stop wasting my time with stupid texts.
im stripping for him via video chat, but the sound is turned off cause his students are taking a test
it never fails, everytime he manages to fuck my earrings out of my ears.
He adopted an old drug sniffing dog so that he won't lose his weed around the house anymore. It works.\n
he slipped a picture of a kangaroo under my door that said "im sorry" on the back and passed out on my lawn.. who the fuck is this kid?
I'm at the bar alone. Is this how you feel?
I guess I made wings because there's chicken everywhere. Even on the walls. 3 of them. It's like a chicken grave yard.
He picked up a chick with a line about the price of used cars in Sri Lanka and developing economies. Step it up.
Just realized I'm going to have to make you sign a non-disclosure agreement before my wedding.
They were supposed to legalize it when there was a chance someone might actually propose to me. I'm appealing this bullshit.
Bank just called....we left my debit card in the ATM last night.
I feel fine lol. I tried climbing a tree but the branch broke and I got arrested.
She gave me a collar. When I asked what this was for she replied "I'm taming your dick"
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