There's a "art of the blow job" class in the city. We should go
Baby, I'm all set with that. That would be like trying to teach bruce lee how to kick someone in the head
If i could tip my vagina, i would.
I would invite you but we are high and there is an AK-47. Not your scene.
Didn't get laid. But got a free pie from a waitress. A whole pie.
Sometimes I wonder how you ever made friends then I remember it's because you blew your way to semi-relevance
Rick Santorum just suspended his campaign. Lets celebrate by watching gay pornography together.
She's dipping the chocolate graham crackers in marshmallow vodka for a 'campfire taste'
Is cereal technically a soup?
Fuck, I'm high.
Made up a full house drinking game
On my way.
You gotta own your makeout pics Matt. They're like badges of honor
The laundromat is nothing like In the pornos
I think we should have a sex position advent calendar
When they said they were gonna tattoo each other's gamer tags on their asses, I knew I no longer had a boyfriend.
Moms passed out wet and naked in a rocking chair again....
Normally getting fucked up with the owner and suggesting he motorboat me wouldn’t help my chances of a promotion, but this is 2020 and he definitely enjoyed it
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