is your mom at the bar?
don't get me wrong, i like my boss a lot, but not enough to not bang his daughter
the liability waiver did not state that i couldn't bring my bottle of wine in the bouncy castle. it did Not.
Just saw the pics you left in my phone. thanks for reminding me that last night was not a dream.
Your brother just informed me that half a mouthful is a unit of measurement. I love talking to members of your family.
med student doing my blood work at the AIDS clinic just hit on me after I told him i was having unprotected sex, but didn't think i had HIV.
Apparently we had sex last night, and then I made him drive me to the beach so I could puke in the ocean.
I just called my cat a slut and she responded. Proudest moment ever.
just printed out my drug dealers resume for him. guess the ecstasy scene slows down when kids move back home for the summer...
I will no longer accept being cock blocked in my own bed.
Those mornings you wake up with a Barbie tramp stamp are the mornings that are the that are going to make me miss this place
In the pie chart of my life, she is a huge part of why I drink.
It's not even 8:30a, wine glass is broken, there's sugar everywhere, and your mom just asked me what MILF means.
if being 21 means slamming 99 cent margaritas at 3:00 in the afternoon on a Tuesday then call me Peter Pan IM NEVER GROWING UP
4 of us. Guys and girls. Were sitting there discussing the passed out half naked Brit girl on the floor. She is no longer the international woman of mystery.
Randomize
