Wanna demo a makeout? Check box yes or no. Or maybe. Okay bye.
I smell stomach acid.
please keep texting me so i can pretend someone likes me
Every day I regret the life decisions that led me to bank management and NOT being a coke addicted stripper. Every. Single. Day.
I'm questioning the dried chocolate syrup on my tits.
I think off duty cops drove me home. I may have been hitchhiking
I'm working on finding a bottomless situation. Both pants and mimosas.
Just read 119 best sex positions. I wanna try 107 of them. Can I put you down for 50?
my human sexuality class is the only class where the porn i watch the night before is relevant to the discussion the next day
If I die, let him know that his penis was the last penis I saw. And I'm happy about that.
You should not have followed "the guy who peed in my bed" with "he smells good."
I wish I were single again so I could actually have sex.
I'm currently sitting at your kitchen table eating chicken nuggets that I dug out of the trash and thinking about how much I need to get laid.
so this maintenance guy stood at the corner of my cubical and scratched his balls for like a full minute cause he thought no one could see him
I cant believe you bit her ass cheek, she must have been really weirded out.
yeah so we made out to make it less awkward
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